Lying is an interesting topic. When most people think about lying, they usually think of the concept of people lying to other people in one of two ways: via “harmless”/small lies verses harmful/bigger lies. We associate it with things like infidelity, hiding a shameful fact about our past, telling someone we like their new hair or outfit, inventing stories and expressing them as fact in order to impress another, excuses made to cancel plans, taking a day off work because we are “sick” or our “car will not start”, etc. But a lot of us also lie to ourselves in ways that are both detrimental to our well-being as well as our ability to succeed in life. Since these are lies that we try to convince ourselves of, these are also lies that we are either too prideful to admit or consciously not aware enough to realize. For example, a lot of people fail to admit to themselves and (especially) others that there is something pathological about them that they should change for the sole purpose of self-improvement. And, instead, they live their entire lives blaming other people and situations for their personal woes. Furthermore, these are also the type of people who can effortlessly point out what is wrong with others. However, they react defensively if someone were to accurately point out one of their flaws, even if it was out of genuine concern for them or their relationship with them.

Additionally, we lie to ourselves about our relationships with others. So many people maintain relationships with individuals who are not good for their personal development. Whether it be with one particular person or a group of people, we involve ourselves in relationships in which we feel unable to act like our authentic selves. Most of us have one person in our life, whether it be a family member or a non-relative, who we feel completely comfortable around. This is the person that we can say anything to and we know it will be okay. This is the person we can fart in front of, this is the person we can be in absolute silence with and still feel comfortable and at peace, this is the person we can sing and dance around, this is the person that we can put our guard down around, and this is the person that allows our mind to be at complete ease; this is the person that feels like home. If someone were to take the quality of that specific relationship and compare it to that of all their other relationships, it would be clear to see that they also have low quality relationships in their life.

Some people make excuses in order to justify why it is “necessary” for them to maintain a relationship of inadequate quality; they are merely lying to themselves. The key word here is “relationship”; whether it be in the form of a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a relationship we have with a family member. There is a huge difference between being in a relationship with someone verses the simple knowing of someone’s existence due to circumstances beyond your control and the act of interacting with them at times when it is necessary; these people are called acquaintances, and acquaintances are not friends. Acquaintances are people we see on a regular basis solely due to the fact that our schedule regularly places us at the same place at the same time; this can be a coworker, another student in your class, a member of the church that you might go to, another parent at your child’s school, etc. Just because we do not personally involve ourselves in these people’s lives and vice versa, does not mean that we should be unjust nor inconsiderate of these people. It also does not indicate that they have less value in this world than we – and the people we love – do.

However, it also does not mean that we should ever be particularly concerned with these people on a meaningful level; to the point where it affects us emotionally. And it also does not mean that we should form a personal bond with these people solely due to the fact that they are regularly seen in our lives. Some people confuse acquaintances with friends; whether it be because they want to feel or appear socially popular or due to the simple fact that they possess unhealthy personal boundaries. Regardless of the reason, the fact remains that these are also the people who allow themselves to become emotionally intertwined with things that hold no value to their well-being; not only is this a complete waste of energy, but it also a complete disregard to your personal development and, ultimately, success.

Unfortunately, too many of us also lie to ourselves about our intimate relationships, and we continue to maintain such close relationships that actually end up breaking our spirit. We become so ingrained and warped in the delusion that this relationship formulates that we not only actively convince ourselves of it, but we also try to convince others that our relationship with this particular person is healthy. The topic of emotionally abusive relationships is delicate and deserves its own post; which I will do. But, for now, it’s important to note that, regardless of how much we try to convince ourselves that something is right when it is not, our intuition – or “gut feeling” – is always right. And when someone is involved in an emotionally abusive relationship, their intuition is always trying to tell them that it is wrong, not right; that the person who they are involving themselves with is causing detrimental effects on their spirit and absolutely zero of it is your fault no matter how confusing it feels. The key difference is whether or not they are acknowledging and honoring their intuition or merely silencing it. Because the people who acknowledge and honor their intuition cry for the help and support of someone that they have always held very dear to their heart, but the people who silence their intuition react defensively and aggressively toward a loved one who is demonstrating concern.

Too many people waste their days worrying about, gossiping about, feeling angry at, feeling hurt from, feeling obsessed with, or feeling jealous of someone who is not deserving of their energy. Dedicating so much of your energy on that that does not serve you well will only result in burnout, fatigue, anxiety, depression, and/or low self-esteem; and a whole fuck lot of lost time that you can never get back. The time lost could have been used toward thoughts, emotions, and actions that serve you well by supporting and igniting your personal development and, ultimately, success. However, the best part of it all is that it is never too late and there is no step forward that is too small; everything begins with a thought.

There is just so much to say. I will continue later. Thank you for reading.