Niceness differs from kindness.

When you’re nice, you act outwardly pleasant and flexible, but you’re not always good to yourself.

When you’re nice, you walk the path of least resistance, the path that complies with the outside world but neglects the inside world.

But when you’re kind, you’re good to yourself and you’re fair to others.

Niceness allows everyone to remain comfortably numb. That feels safe, familiar, and comfortable. But it also includes deception, whereas kindness does not. And it leaves us with a lingering sense of dissatisfaction that creeps in during moments of silence and solitude. You tend to get bored and search for distraction.

When you’re kind, you won’t always please everyone and not everyone will like you, but you will honor yourself. You will have boundaries that are healthy. You will love yourself completely while maintaining a deep sense of compassion for others. You will be selfish in a way that acts as a positive influence. You have no reason to deceive because the truth doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Life’s ups and downs don’t trick you. You’re confident enough to say ‘no’. You know that you are in control of yourself; no one and nothing else holds that power. Moments of silence and solitude become opportunities.

Niceness comes with a cost and a price. The cost is living unauthentically, and the price is expecting others to reciprocate accordingly – leaving you upset if they don’t.

Kindness requires strength and courage. Kindness is not always easy as it may require you to challenge the status quo. But it’s the most rewarding and brings the greatest benefits.

When you’re kind, not everyone will understand you. But through kindness, you’ll come to understand yourself more deeply than many people ever come to understand themselves in a lifetime.

When you’re kind, not everyone will think you’re nice. It’s easier to be nice because complying with social expectations helps you avoid tension with others. Niceness is also less awkward to those who comply with unspoken social rules.

When you’re kind, you’re more likely to follow your dreams, working quietly toward your personal goals. You don’t feel a need to share this with others, nor do you thrive on validation through compliments or agreement. Your motivation is independent of others’ approval of your choices.

When you’re nice, you’re unlikely to know yourself well and are unlikely to be your own best friend. You may also struggle to follow your dreams because you’re too focused on navigating other people’s personalities and meeting their needs.

When you’re nice, you want people to like you. It influences how you feel about yourself and your own life in regard to success and fulfillment.

Nice people have more friends than kind people, but the impact of these relationships on their well-being isn’t always positive.

Kindness offers fewer friends – often none – but those who are kind connect with others on a deeper level, resulting in genuine interactions.

People who live to be nice have an internal state of being that is nothing like their external persona. They act agreeable but their thoughts are critical and at odds with themselves. Their mood shifts easily. They have a side that remains unknown, sometimes even to them.

Nice people are more likely to engage in gossip and tend to judge others, often because they haven’t fully accepted themselves.

Kind people have a much lesser tendency to judge others. They recognize the importance of their own journey in shaping who they are today, viewing past challenges and wrongdoings as stepping stones to their growth. And they extend this understanding to others.

Everyone deserves to be kind.