Most of us hate traffic. Traffic brings out the worst in most of us. There is a reason for this that goes much deeper than being late for a destination; a rush against time, so to speak. Most of us trap ourselves in a reality in which time both dominates and dictates our behaviors. And, since most people consume their thoughts with their daily “to do’s”, we allow the combination of this perceived traffic and (the abstract concept of) time to place us in a subjective mindset that inhibits us more than most of us will ever realize in our lifetime.
I sit in my car and I stop time. I look at the other cars around me; coming and going. Each car holds something different inside: singles, married couples, kids, no kids, varied ages, varied employment statuses, varied lifestyles, varied political views, varied religious and/or spiritual beliefs, varied economic statuses, varied beliefs of sex and love, etc. Everyone involved in traffic appears to be so unique from one another, yet most of them have one thing in common: the consumption of the subjective experience.
Traffic is more complex than a multitude of cars filled with bad drivers, aggressive drivers, and drivers that fade in the background. Traffic consists of many people with differing life situations, emotions, worries, concerns, anger, stress, anxiety, happiness, levels of self-awareness, and states of consciousness. But, unfortunately, most of the people that make up traffic also maintain a very limited subjective mindset of their perceived reality; they are the star role. They are sitting in their car feeling their own – subjective – emotions about their life and everyone else around them are merely extras in their movie.
Most people hate traffic; it makes them feel rushed and stressed. They complain about being late, they complain about trains, they complain about bad drivers. But what is traffic anyway? If we free ourselves from this subjective bubble – this very limited point of view – we will quickly realize that traffic is not something that happens to us, traffic is us. Traffic is not a separate entity that is our enemy; we are traffic, you are traffic. Traffic, in its entirety, is a collective of all the “stars” of the show. And if every part of the whole feels like they are the most important role, the whole system itself will not function smoothly and effectively; and, ironically, this is the very dysfunction that lays the foundation for what most people complain about.
Because, the truth is, we are not the star of the show; we are part of a collective. And the collective is important; the collective is powerful. If all of the parts that make up the collective are subjectively focused on their self-created drama – if everyone attaches themselves to the victim role – then the collective as a whole will function under stress, selfishness, unauthenticity, and aggression. If every part (individual) of the whole (collective) believes they are the star of the show, then the result will not reflect that of deep understanding and respect; thus causing “bad traffic”.
This phenomenon occurs outside of traffic as well.
In American society, we are programmed to small talk. We make small talk with everyone: acquaintances, cashiers at the store, staff at the school our child(ren) attend, coworkers, classmates, servers at the restaurants we eat at, representatives we are on the phone with, etc. Small talk varies in length and depth, depending on the person and the amount of time we are exposed to them. For example, during an interaction with a store cashier, we may exchange a quick:
“Hi, how are you?”
“Good, how are you?”
“Good, thanks”;
Then we move on without further thought nor feeling. Neither the customer nor the cashier care about one another on a deeper intrinsic level; both respect and acknowledgement of the importance of their existence. During an exchange with a coworker, however, we may bring up the obvious current state of the weather and provide our generic and predictable reactions about it; the other person will simply agree. Our days are filled with conversations that are meaningless and unauthentic as we continue to hide our true self inside the deep and dark spaces of our minds. When a tragedy occurs outside of our own geographical area, we appear to care on a deeper level. But that eventually fades with – not much – time.
However, if we chose to not engage in meaningless small talk, and we opted out of this superficial charade, we would be viewed – under American societal standards – as weird, rude, introverted, antisocial, or emotionally cold. But why is this? Why do we view talking as polite and kind, even if the foundation of the conversation is meaningless and unauthentic? But choosing not to talk is considered to be rude, even if we come from an intrinsic place of love and respect for all life.
Or what if, instead of opting completely out of small talk, we chose to initiate genuine comments to those we interact with and reply authentically to their comments; If we verbally communicated our real thoughts and feelings to others. Well, if we were that transparent we would be deemed by society as weird and we would make other people feel awkward because – according to them – we would be giving out “TMI” (too much information). So, in essence, in order to fit in it is not required to actually care about other people nor it is required to be authentic, but it is required to pretend we care and it is okay if we have to be fake in order to do so.
That is my point about fitting in. What are we actually trying to fit in with: the silent rules that, if we follow, will allow us to be accepted in a reality in which the majority of people are not living authentically and not honoring their full potential? Or are we trying to fit in with ourselves? Only one of those options offers us personal growth, happiness, and success; the other offers internal conflict through cognitive dissonance that only results in stress, fatigue, and dissatisfaction.
Most people are afraid to embody their authentic self because they fear rejection and criticism (aka: the “haters”). But “haters” are a part of life; they will never go away and that is perfectly alright. The only way to free your mind and spirit is to accept the presence and inevitability of the varying levels of consciousness and self-awareness that exist in all human beings. If you decide to begin your own journey of self-evolution – if you engage in introspection, self-reflection, and you honor what is revealed to you (what needs to be improved alongside what also what needs to be discarded) in order to follow your dream and take control of your life, happiness, and success – then you will inevitably notice more “haters”.
“Haters” represent the societal infrastructure that silently imprisons our minds. The increasing presence of “haters” in your life indicates that you are beginning to go against the grain of society; you are beginning to blossom your way into your full potential. As you are raising your level of consciousness and awareness, they are still stuck in their mental prison. Even though it might feel tempting to allow “haters” to make you feel insecure and discouraged, their presence is actually a reliable indicator that you are on the right path. There is no need to fear “haters” and their criticism. There is no need to feel anger or resentment toward them. But there is also no need to entertain them by responding to them, nor involving them in your life or letting them into your thoughts. It is not your job to prove anything to them. It is not your job to “enlighten” them either. You are capable of changing yourself, but you are not capable of changing someone else.
In essence, focusing on yourself does not have to signify selfishness nor a pathological subjective view in which you are the star of the show and everyone else is merely an extra in your movie. Furthermore, genuine care and respect for other human life does not come from empty and meaningless conversations. In fact, it is vital that you preserve as much of your energy as you can and use your energy to focus solely on that which serves you well and fosters your own personal development. Maintaining a raised vibrational energy and higher state of consciousness and awareness takes practice and energy, but it is the only way to achieve higher levels of genuine happiness and manifestation. That is why it is necessary to cut out anything and everything in your life that uses up your energy for sake of fitting in socially according to societal expectations. You will never be able to do this if you are worried about what other people think of you, for this holds no weight to your success in life. It is also necessary to cut out anything and everything in your life that lowers your vibrational energy; whether it be the use of social media, a relationship with a friend or a partner, a TV series you feel addicted to, porn, going out to the bars every weekend, or letting go of the expectation to consistently network with acquaintances. It can be anything, and the list is unique from person to person.
In theory, if everyone woke up tomorrow deciding to redirect their energy to focus on their personal growth, the world would inevitably be a kinder place. People who embark on this personal journey naturally tend to have a higher level of respect and appreciation for all life; they acknowledge the collective. Unlike the aforementioned subjective experience – in which people have a tendency to suffer from their self-created drama and victim mentality – that causes them to be defensive and turn against one another. Intrinsic respect for all life is silent, it cannot be demonstrated with just words; it originates through a very specific mindset that manifests a certain energy that is both special and contagious. Just because you stray away from societal expectations and dedicate your life to focusing on your own manifestations does not mean that you care less about others. In retrospect, just because you engage in small talk all day with strangers does not mean you are more caring of a person. The person who talks more, acts less. What determines your domination is your perception of reality, where you focus your energy, and what you choose to pay attention to.
There is just so much to say. I will continue later. Thank you for reading.