Anger and aggressivity are commonly thought of as masculine traits. There exists a double standard that aggressive men are masculine, strong, sexy, and confident; whereas aggressive women are too masculine. The purpose of this post is not to differentiate nor divide men and women; nor it exists in order to support feminist theories. Because, the truth is, anger and aggressivity – regardless of who you are – is a sign of weakness and emotional immaturity as it displays the inability to regulate one’s own emotions. This truth speaks to all adult human beings.

It is first important to consider the fact that no one is perfect. If you are striving for perfection, you are only setting yourself up for unwarranted internal turmoil. If you expect others around you to be perfect, then you are either insecure or scared (or both) to let go of the illusion of control.

It is also important to note that, when one is actively and intentionally involved in the process of self-reflection for the sake of self-improvement, one is bound to experience ups and downs; moments of total clarity, inner peace, and purpose alongside moments of darkness, loneliness, and self-doubt. It is both a natural and inevitable part of the process that should be both expected and accepted. The awakening journey is not “perfect” by design, so it is imperative to be gentle on yourself and utilize the “setbacks” to your advantage as an opportunity to learn, grow, and bounce back both stronger and wiser than you were before.

Deconstructing a lifetime of programming is not an easy process, and it will cause a rollercoaster of emotions. But it is possible and, in the end, the benefits significantly outweigh its challenges.

But I am not referring to people who intentionally begin this difficult process of self-reflection for their personal goal of self-improvement. I am referring to the people who laugh at such a concept. People who deny their pathologies. People who rarely take accountability for their actions unless it is done in a way that is manipulative. Those with limited empathy. Individuals who lack discernment. There is no one size fits all; these people can take on many forms from the abusive partner or parent (physically or emotionally, or both), to the aggressive driver, to the stranger in public who has a “problem” with you, etc.

I believe it is both ironic and humorous that some of the most aggressive, short-tempered, and cyclically angry people have a strong tendency to tell others – those who react fearfully to their explosive burst of anger and aggression – that they are too sensitive when, in fact, they themselves are openly displaying hypersensitivity to external stimuli that most people are able to accept as a normal part of life.

If you are a good-natured human being who knows the difference between right and wrong, explosive episodes of rage will most likely cause you to feel uncomfortable. This discomfort does not represent any human quality that one should be ashamed of. Reacting to heightened aggression with fear and discomfort does not make a person sensitive, it makes them human. It is okay to cry.

However there is something valuable that should not be left unsaid. Although these moments – these people – can feel scary and intimidating, you are stronger than them mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. There is no need to feel weak; nor scared and intimidated by them. Their short-fused aggression is nothing but a safety shield they put around them to hide their deep and profound insecurities and lack of skill. Their tantrum has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own inability to emotionally regulate; something that you began to practice when you were in grade school and consistently worked toward improving throughout your lifetime. But they are now grown adults who still have a very limited amount of control over themselves and their own emotions.

Some adults decide to blame their past for their current way of being. This is not to say that we should deny our past as an intricate part of who we are today. But instead of utilizing our past as a crutch to justify our current wrongdoings, we should utilize our past as a means to self-conquer. This way, we can decide what type of adult we will be; the adult we all deserve to be: confident and secure with the ability to maintain inner peace even in moments of stress and chaos. But instead, they give their past permission to control who they are as an adult.

Furthermore, it does not matter if they see it this way. The only thing that matters is that you know the truth. This truth will allow you to see right through them for what they truly are; weak and not in control. This is when you begin to realize how powerful you really are. This is when you believe in your own strength, and how this strength conquers their weakness.

Although it is crucial to have healthy boundaries for the sake of protecting ourselves from negative energies that can cause so much destruction to our spirit and life path, we should never hold hatred nor resentment in our hearts towards these people that we label as toxic. Even though it is necessary to distance ourselves from them, having hatred and resentment toward them is both hypocritical and counterintuitive. Instead, we should hold love in our hearts for them just as we should for anyone else. In maintaining distance, we view them with compassion in knowing that – despite the pain they cause others – they are suffering. We do not pity them nor try to “fix” them, instead we analytically view them for what they currently are. Without becoming emotionally invested, we should have hope in our hearts for them that one day they too will find inner peace and love. If we do not hope for this – if we choose to feel anger, resentment, and hatred toward these people – we are ultimately dissociating from our higher selves. Wishing them bad fortune insinuates that you do not want any hope to exist in regard to their own self-improvement and spiritual growth; a powerful thought that does not benefit the health of the collective.

I understand that having love in our hearts for some people – people that we feel are so hateable –  is difficult to do. But this fact is proof in itself that people who perpetuately love are strong; their spirit is indestructible to evil. And just because others choose to remain mentally, emotionally, and spiritually stagnant, does not mean you have to be influenced by this and follow suit.

There is just so much to say. I will continue later. Thank you for reading.